Published Friday, April 30, 2010 9:12PM EDT
When I was sixteen I fell in love with a guy I thought was simply, magical.
I met this Magic Man on a snowy Valentine's Day when he offered to drive me home (I know what you're thinking: "You got into a car with a complete stranger??!" Relax – he was a friend of my then-boyfriend's brother).
When I got into Magic Man's car, I was overwhelmed by the smell of burning patchouli and bees wax. I stared at him with a slight look of disgust as he lit a cigarette. He was at least 10 years older than me but looked even older than that. He had long dreadlocks, a Pan-like beard, a huge nose ring and lots of hand jewelry.
He told me he would drive me home but first he had to stop off to buy flowers for his sister. We stopped off at a flower shop and when he returned to the car, he handed me a bouquet. I knew I was in trouble.
Less than a week later, my boyfriend was "out" and Magic Man was in. I went to his home where he read my tarot cards and told me my future. He played me James Taylor, showed me his motorcycle and told me about his time touring with "The Dead." We wandered in the woods and went on hikes to look for fairies.
He pierced my nose for me – which made my parents crazy but I thought it was the most romantic thing in the world. He hardly ever kissed me – but when he did it was full of power and energy which made me even crazier for him. He sent me love letters and I understood we had a spiritual, nay, MAGICAL connection.
But then came the catch: he had a girlfriend. A live-in girlfriend. And whenever I met his other hippy female friends, I got the distinct impression that they "knew" each other quite well too. But he said he loved me, so I didn't really care. At first.
Eventually, the spell began to break. I didn't understand where his life was going, why he never stayed put and why he wasn't just "with me." I began to wonder: is all of his love just smoke and mirrors? The magic ended shortly after.
I was reminded of this part of my young life as I watched the film "Sex Magic, Manifesting Maya". (hyperlink: http://sexmagicthemovie.com/) The story follows Baba Dez – a yoga-loving, sexual-healing world traveler who has had over 1,000 lovers – many of whom you see in the movie and are still absolutely enchanted by him.
Dez's life is thrown upside down when he meets a woman named Maya and they fall deeply in love. However, one day Maya is no longer able to tolerate his numerous lovers and she leaves him. Devastated, Dez spends the rest of the time in the film trying to use "sex magic" to try to bring her back.
Like my Magic Man, Dez has a unique lifestyle and an enchanting -- and slightly naïve --quality to him that makes it hard for me to think that he is living this lifestyle in a completely creepy, self-serving way. I wanted to believe that this man sincerely wants to love and create magic through his love.
But that's hard to believe considering how much sadness he creates too.
The question is – would Dez be any happier if he lived a simple, monogamous lifestyle? And would the women he encounters for brief periods of "love" be better – or worse – off without him?
I, for one, learned a lot about life, love and even heartbreak from my Magic Man. I also came to understand what kind of lover I didn't want for the long haul.
Over the years, my Magic Man still occasionally keeps in touch – and is always able to stir something up in me. Perhaps it's just nostalgia but I like to imagine it might be something more meaningful. I wonder now if he is still out there weaving magical webs around ladies – and part of me hopes he is.
I think it's kind of great it is to be touched by people who love love.
For more info about "Sex Magic, Manifesting Maya" as well as screening times, go to: http://www.hotdocs.ca/film/title/sex_magic_manifesting_maya